By Croydon Hounslow

Online dating is one of the fastest growing industries in the UK today. Every day, hundreds of thousands of us log on to one or more of the growing number of sites available; some looking for serious relationships, others for friendship and companions, and still others for casual flings and that extra ‘bit on the side’.

Some sites claim to be purely for genuine singles seeking committed, long term relationships, others turn a blind eye to, or even actively encourage, married or cohabiting members who may or may not use the sites with the blessing of their spouse or partner. Of course many people who use online dating sites do so purely for chatting and exchanging messages and never meet face to face; with the steady growth of the Internet as a communication tool since it’s inception, it has become increasingly possible for netizens to conduct deeply involved, real time relationships with people they have never actually met.

By David Steele

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

For singles who fall into the Sex Trap, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A. they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well)

B. more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.

So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction — such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants — they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

Chemicals and Chemistry

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong, leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being.

But when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main tool for making a partner choice is sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

A Guy Thing?

Barry North, a relationship coach who works primarily with gay men, says that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

"For gay men especially in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Many gay men want to find out from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?"

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing."

I do want to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

For Conscious Dating: Combine Chemistry with Common Sense

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, goals and requirements — while feeling all those exciting sparks!

Copyright 2006 David Steele

David Steele, MA, LMFT is founder of Relationship Coaching Institute and author of the ground-breaking new book for singles Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World. http://www.consciousdating.com/book.htm

Visit http://www.ConsciousRelationshipResources.com for FREE live tele-seminars, recorded audio programs, podcasts, e-programs and newsletters for singles and couples packed with cutting-edge relationship information that will help you have the life and relationships you really want.

Article Source:
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By Tim Lee

Dating is not easy for everyone. To some it could an exciting and fun activity that allows them to meet other people, and maybe even their potential life partner! But for others, this ritual can feel like a slow and painful torture, leading to an execution; especially for those men who do not have much luck when it comes to attracting women.

Here are the tips for attracting woman:

(1) Men should learn how to read body language. Chances are that there are a lot of women around them that are trying to catch their attention, but they just fail to see the signs! Some of the signs that a women is interested includes:

By Eddie Tobey

Debt is a very common problem that should be fought. With free debt help being made to those in debt, there are more consumers seeking debt help than ever before.

Free debt counseling is free help offered by debt help services. The credit counselors help you in planning your budget while keeping in mind your income, existing debts, and assets and expenditures. They offer free debt help by assimilating all your debts so that it is easier to pay them in convenient monthly installments. And with a planned budget, there is also a lowered risk of falling into debt again.

By Jennifer Bailey

Dating is the most popular and widely used service provided by singles’ sites, and almost every singles’ site offers dating services for their customers. A singles’ dating service allows the registered singles to give personal information and then search for matches. Such services allow members to upload their photos and view the photos of others as well. There are many additional services like online chatting and messaging.

Normally, singles’ dating sites allow people register for free. You can give your personal details and even upload your photo for free. However, the other services, such as the facility to contact the other person via email or chat, may require a monthly fee. Most of the singles’ dating sites ensure the subscribers anonymity. Moreover, their searching criteria help to filter your search and save a lot of time.

By Sonya Triggs

Okay, ladies, I know you have these conversations, because I have them all the time with my girlfriends: how do you know when a man is ready to commit to you?

We’ve all heard the conventional wisdom that a man should pursue you, should show an interest in being with you, should take you out and wine and dine you.

But, once you get past all these ‘qualifications’, how do you know when a man is really ready to commit - to you? I am going to look at that question today in the reverse, and give you the 10 signs that say the man with whom you are involved is definitely not ready to commit. They are as follows:

By Peter Portero

Men who are dating hookers often feel powerful and are proud of their accomplishments. It does sound ridiculous, but some men are cocky about the fact they date hookers. Many of them will brag to their friends about it as well. The one thing you never want to do is allow your mother to know you are dating hookers. It would likely be the single most embarrassing and humiliating moment of your life.

To keep your activities under wraps you need to keep all of your activity to yourself. Don’t brag to your friends about your conquests. In addition, never tell a family member such as a brother or sister about your activities. Because when you make them mad, and you will at some point, they can hold it over your head and threaten to tell your mother. They could use this information to scare you into doing things for them for years. And even if you are close to them, you will make them mad at some point.

By Tonja Weimer

Would you like to have more dates and less sitting at home? Do you want to go out more often so you feel you have a wider choice of who you want for a mate? Do you know the way to accomplish this?

There are definite strategies and plans to have more dates, more choices, and more fun. Many of these tips were discovered as the steps to a successful business and can be applied to being successful in getting more eligible people to ask you out. Here are six steps to get more dates:

* What is your goal?

Do you have a clearly defined goal of attracting more people into your life? If not, why not? Pinpoint the reason you feel you are not dating and start working toward satisfying your need. Do you need to get your financial house in order? Do you need to get to the gym, exercise, and get yourself in shape? Do you need a makeover? Or do you lack confidence? Ask yourself what is holding you back and take steps to remedy it. Help is there for you if you ask for it.

*What are your plans to get more dates?

Not much happens in life unless you do something about it. Do you have some strategies for meeting people? Or have you tried going out a couple of times, not had any luck, and have given up? Now is the time to take out your calendar, make plans with some of your friends to go places this month, call people and tell them you would like to meet someone, and look into an Internet dating service. Do something.

*Do you keep your word with yourself and others?

Be sure you are accountable to someone. That is why it is important to make plans with friends to go places. Tell your best friend what you are going to do to meet future dates and then be accountable to them for doing it. If you don't know how to be accountable to a friend or family member around your plans and promises to meet people, hire a coach.

*Do you believe you will never meet someone wonderful for you?

Check your beliefs. If you think you can't do something, you won't. Replace your negative thoughts with words of encouragement. If you do it often enough, you will start to believe your new voice.

*Do you have a support system in place?

You need allies in your corner, cheering you on, urging you out to meet people. Learn to start conversations when you are meeting new people, build friendships, be generous with those you care about, and take good care of yourself at all times.

*Do you applaud your own efforts?

Often, when we are trying to learn new skills and confidence, if we don't perform the way we think we should, we are hard on ourselves. Every time you make an effort to go places and reach out to people, no matter how it turns out, give yourself a pat on the back for trying.

There are all kinds of interesting, fabulous, wonderful people out there for you to meet. Do you want more dates? If you do, think about the above. Your dating life is waiting for you

Visit
http://www.tonjaweimer.com or

http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on
dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy
Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated
columnist, Tonja Weimer.Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source
if reprinting this article.)

By Nocita Carter

Good question? When you first start dating it’s important to tell the person you’re dating important information about yourself before you get too deep into the relationship. You say, well isn’t my name, occupation, hobbies, address and telephone number enough? No, not if you’re withholding information from the other person you’re dating. The information you need to tell your date may be important to that person in deciding whether or not they want to remain in a relationship with you. It’s best to let them know about you right from the start! You don’t want this to become a problem for you later on down the line.

By Nocita Carter 

Yes, some things you shouldn’t tell the person you’re dating because it’s really not important! Some things are best left unsaid. You wouldn’t want to turn off the person you’re dating to the point they determine they’re really not interested in you after all! So, here are some tips that may assist you in not discussing certain topics with your date that you don’t need to:

1) Never discuss with your date your past boyfriend, girlfriend or former spouse! This is a definite no, no. No one wants to hear about how great or bad your past girlfriend, boyfriend, or former spouse was! Don’t dwell on the past. Your new date might think you’re trying to make them like your past date or spouse, and this may be a turn off for them!